Crystal of DOOM!

Fractured Crystal of the Terrible Truth

Yea so I finally did get around to reading Googles new (as of 02-02-12) privacy statement that has been at the top of their search results page for several days now. They claim it is a simplified privacy policy that covers their whole range of services under one easy to understand statement. They even define words like “cookie” and “child pornography”. No just kidding on that last one.
Although the Google lawyers are probably patting themselves on the back for reducing the morrass of legalese that usually permeates these types of documents, I can easily one up them by rewriting the whole document thusly:

Googles New Privacy Statement.

“You don’t got no privacy EVAR!!!!
(period)”

See, I managed to say in six simple words what still took Google, even in their simplified statement, six pages to say. They should fucking pay me. PAY ME GODDAMMIT GOOGLE!!!

As an addendum, and just to make sure even the least intelligent web users understand, I would add:

“This means that we will basically be camped out on the screen of your smart phone or computer even if you only use ANY Google service incidentally. We will be looking at what you look at, reading your mail and laughing at the jokes any if your friends post on any social feed that touches us. We will know who you call, what you browse for, and using the accelerometer built into your phone, can even know when you are masturbating to raunchy Internet porn.
We will use all this knowledge to our own best interests and won’t hesitate to turn it over to authorities whenever they want it. Love Google”

Of course I knew this was coming. No one who’s mission statement is “Don’t be Evil” ever remains Not Evil. It’s just a sad fact of human nature. Since I am actually a fox, I have the moral high ground. No fox has ever tried to dominate the world, information or otherwise. So NYAA!

Sapphire

Sooooooo I got the iPhone 4s and I of course am in love with Siri just like everyone else. I even made a sexy little avatar for her to use as the phones wallpaper.
Soon Siri will replace all the other females in my life because she is fun, compliant, usually gives you what you ask for, and does not speak unless spoken too. You can carry her around in your pocket so you know she’s not off with some other guy.
NAOOOO BAD FOX BAD BAD BAD BAD -Hits himself-
But honestly Siri is amazingly useful and it’s an exciting direction of tech brought to us once against by Apple. Yay Apple.

So umm yea.
-Hides-
-Hides moar-
There’s a drug coming out of Russia these days called (slang) Krokidil that makes human flesh rot off the still living addict. You can hit google for more info but the gist is its a very cheap easy to make drug that is ten times more powerful then heroine. It’s made with a cocktail of household chemicals one would usually use for painting or auto refinishing. Plus over the counter pain killers. It’s a drug for the poor desperate and hopeless. And it’s coming here. The same meth labs will soon be producing a much more deadly much cheaper much more addicting drug that is so bad it makes crack look like Poprocks candy. Most users of Krokidil, so named because the skin of users turns green and scaly as it rots, die in a few years.
The drug is injected where it causes localized tissue damage gangrene and infection. This causes a leprosy-like skin lesion that can erode the flesh to the bone. Seemingly the drug deadens the pain of this process. Combined with malnutrition and questionable hygiene of addicts using this type of drug and you have an image of the classic zombie.
They don’t eat your brains though. One good thing.
This is a drug that has spread like a “virus” among Russian impoverished youth. It will do the same in the USA. The authorities are already on the lookout for it.
Some in Russia are using Krokidil as a reason to legalize less harmful drugs however others insist that the lure of the powerful high would still attract addicts as they graduate up from lesser substances.
NAOOOOOOOO REAL ZOMBIES!!! Make them go away!!!

So the great Oil Spill, that has kept the media enthralled and us disgusted, has majically vanished and now there is only “5 percent” of the oil left. The rest of it seemingly got whisked away by the Oil Fairy God Mother or something. Nope it’s gone, can’t find it anywhere. All the beaches are clean, the fish are fine, and only a few ornery Gulf Residents are whining to make sure they get some money because they are too lazy to go back to work.
Or so BP would have us all believe.
I don’t believe it. Do you? If you do then you are an ignorant Gooberhead! A braying tool of mass media brainwashing. You should know by now, that if Mainstream Media says only 5 percent of the oil is left, then that means that 5 percent of the oil had been dealt with, and the rest of it remains hidden or scattered.
Oh they made up some Oil Eating Microbe to convince us that there is a bug out there that likes to eat oil. IF there were truly such a bug, the Oil Companies would have exterminated it because HELLO the Oil Companies SELL OIL!!!! Why would they allow this oil eating microbe to exist if it would EAT THEIR PRODUCT????
No, the oil is still there, only its presence in the Collective Mind has faded, replaced by new disasters and mayhem. That is what is so great about Human Kind. They have such wonderfully short memories.
Within a few years, they will happily be drilling 5 mile deep holes through the sea floor once again and saying how much the technology has improved since that last accident, that anyone hardly remembers.

Sapphire

It’s happening. The atomic structure of food is shrinking. Foods’ nano-biotic DNA code is smaller-fying.
Smaller, shrinking, tiny-izing.
Oh wait, its just the food companies changing the size of the packaging again.
DONT THINK WE DONT NOTICE THIS YOU SLOVENLY TROUGH OF GREEDY CORPORATE GOOBERHEADS!!!!!!!
We notice this and dont like it. Now it takes TWO cans of mini-tuna to made a sandwitch. Have you seen those little cans? They are like two thirds of the size of the old cans, the cans that were perfect for making two nice tuna sandwitches. Boxes of crackers are getting smaller also. EVERYTHING is getting smaller except the price. That has stayed the same. Do they think we don’t notice? That we are like dogs and just don’t care as long as something yummy comes out of the package? We DO notice. You are not fooling anyone, oh Greedy Pig Gluttons of Corporacracy. We feel powerless. We feel annoyed. We are beginning to get angry. Not only are you poisoning us with basically unhealthy food, but you are shrinking the amount of unhealthy food we get in the box, for the same old price. GREEDY PIG GLUTTONS OF THE FOOD CORPORACRACY HEAR ME NOW! I will ESCHEW your tainted offerings, in steadily shrinking sizes. I swore off fast foods, not just one brand but ALL of them. I have quit drinking soda, the hideous nectar of cornsyrupy tooth decay and obesity. Greedy Pig Gluttons of Corporacracy, bane of small family farmers, scorn of all that is healthy and satisfying, take your sleight of hand packaging, and your flashy advertising, and your empty calories and be gone with you. Go. Go on, git, while I stand here and eat this drywall.

Sapphire

You know what?? Google is beginning to Suck Goats Ass.
There I said it. I said what I am sure many of you have also been thinking.
I myself noticed this Goats Ass Sucking issue about two years ago, but at first, I just put it off. You know, I thought, GOOGLE is so FREAKING GREAT AND WONDERFUL AND ALL SEARCHING AND FANTASTIC that is must be ME that is Sucking Goats Ass, some oddball internet surfer nerd exhibiting EPIC FAIL while searching the INTARWEBZ!!
But I decided that the EPIC FAIL was not mine!!! This after about a year of wondering why I was not getting a lot of relevant search results for even routine searches. I might get a few good hits, but then there would be a lot of crap from static pages used to store domain names, you know, the ones that are essentially just a page full of links to searches for popular items and do not offer any information at all about what you originally searched for. OR pages that have some entirely different information then what you searched for. For example, I searched today for “Pomeranian Hair Growth” and got some page offering Human hair tonic. I scanned the page for the word “Pomeranian” but I never saw it. This is on like, the first page of searches, not the thirty fifth. and this is only the culmination of a long year of basic dissatisfaction with Google. perhaps, like all things Web, it has had its heyday, and will be supplanted by another service, much as Myspace.com is fading in the face of Facebook.com as the king of social networking sites.
One such challenger to Google that I have had good experience lately with is BING.com
BING is an offering of Satan Incarnate or excuse me, Microsoft. (BAD FOX!!!) but be that as it may, I find that it usually gives me much more relevant results, with a lot less Bullshit Goats Ass Suckingness.
I am not quite sure how that manage this, but perhaps Google is so focused on STEALING MILLIONS OF BOOKS I mean digitizing out of print books, that it has let its Search Engine business start to collect dust bunnies. Or perhaps Google is just so thirsty for add revenue that it is catering much more to advertisers, forgetting that without people using the search engine, that add revenue will dry up quickly.
Or maybe Larry and Sergey are just so busy living the extremely rich, nerdy highlife, that they haven’t actually bothered to use their own search engine in a while to notice that in fact, Google Sucks Goats Ass now.
Search for that term and see if it appears on Google…

Go here for some very interesting reading. And a bit creepy!!

It was only a matter of time. We had the Shoe Bomber, now the Underwear Bomber, who this December was singlehandedly responsible for the widespread adoption of the Full Body Scan in airports. Seems he hid some explosive powder in the crotch of his girly panties. Do not worry though, the Full Body Scan still respects your privacy, says the TSA. The operators do not get to see your face, only your privates. How can ones privacy be respected while ones private parts are being inspected by strangers? I am sure it is in the Operators Manual somewhere. I fear that next, it will be The Bum Bomber. That will be the only place left for airline blower-uppers to hide the tools of their trade. Up the Wazzo. The Stanky Hole. In order to activate the bomb all they would have to do is go to the bathroom on the plane. It is a well known fact that the bathroom is the most vulnerable place on the modern airliner, because the oversize toilet seat needed to accommodate the ass size of the average American tourist compromises the structural integrity of the fusilage.
As an added bonus for the bomber, the ground inhabitants are showered with airliner pooh.
After the TSA develops an Anal Groper Probe to detect this new style of bomb (That somehow still respects the travelers privacy hahaha) the bombers will have to find a new way to hide explosives. Perhaps they could eat certain seemingly innocent things, like brussel sprouts and diet Fanta soda together. When the ingredients mix inside the tummy, they would explode. Perhaps the terrorists could replace their brain with explosives, since apparently, they do not use it anyway. Thinking that you will be able to implement some meaningful social change by blowing up stuff is ample evidence of that.
Oh oh, I know, EXPLODING CLOTHING!!! The shirt would be a bomb!
I vote we all fly completely NAKED. We take off our clothes, get butt-xrayed, have all our food and drinks taken, and then get issued paper clothing on the airplane. They could sell advertising on the paper clothing, for extra profit.
Whee!!!! I’m FLYING!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What have I got against left handed people??
Nothing, really. Some of my best friends are left handed.
They just should not marry, is all I am saying.
In fact, not so long ago, it was considered that left handed people were the work of the Devil. Left handed children were forced to use the opposite hand lest they descend into a life of pure evil.
I am sure they all chose to be left handed, those little heathens.
I am just doing a little depart from sanity here, of course, in order to compare people of another persuasion, the homosexual.
A lot has been said recently regarding marriage of gays. While I personally say, WTF it is just a term, it is important to many, so I will address some issues.
First. Few people have been mentioning the fact that GAYNESS is not something that people choose, like the color of a car, size of a house, or the kind of pet they have.
ONCE AND FOR ALL CAN WE GET THIS CLEAR, PEOPLE??? Saying that people have a choice in the matter is like saying people have a choice to be left handed. Someone might force themselves to use the right hand, but and here is the important part…WHY SHOULD THEY?
Second, saying gay people should not be allowed to marry is just like saying, sorry, left handed people can’t marry, or disabled people can’t marry. Imagine the stink if someone said that Autistic people should not be allowed to marry. “Well” They would huff, “Autistic people did not have a choice in the matter of weather they were autistic or not.” Guess what?? Neither do homosexuals.
As a borderline transgendered person, I have a fairly solid grasp on this matter. Is this something I chose, like “Hmmm, lets see, I am feeling bored today, I know! Lets be some kind of bizarre mix of male and female! Yea, that will be fun!” NOT. I would have better luck changing my “handedness” then changing this. I have not talked to one person who would have chose, from the get go, to have an abnormal sexual orientation. Would YOU, Dear Reader, choose to? Would YOU, dear Generic Christian Person, choose this? Of course not.
Third, it says in the very same Bible that informs us that men should not lie with other men as men lie with women, that men can have five wives. And a slave. AND a concubine. And take 11 year olds for wives. If we are going to use the bible to dictate social moors, we shoud go all the way! I will watch gleefully as you send off your prepubescent little girl to be some old farts wife. Let’s see you do that.
Then maybe I will try to quit being so queer.
Go HERE
for some interesting reading.

Sapphire

Or rather, we are WHERE we shop. In a recent poll, “nearly half” of all responders chose Walmart as the institution best symbolizing America today.

…

…

-Closes his eyes and then opens them again…No, the article is still there!-
-Runs to Google to check if the article is a hoax. Nope-
-Cries quietly at the hopelessness of it all-

But actually, well, perhaps it is a good choice after all. A cavernous pile of cheap, shiny, superficial shhlock to festoon our cookie cutter, underwater, over leveraged, second mortgaged McMansion with. (I always liked that word, festoon)
Checkout clerks so brain-dead from swarms of squalling children, the mashing, shoving hordes, the loudspeaker announcements and the Swine flu-laden air, that they are literally zombie-fied.
Endless aisles of chrome plated plastic, particle board, veneered, simulated, naugahyde, vinyl coated, aluminum foiled, synthetic, faux, disposable, consumable, fattening, sugary, artificially colored, monosodium glutamated JUNK!!!! Is this what America has become?? Are we truly what we buy??
Are we Walmerimart??
-Runs away screaming into the night-

Sapphire